What Seems to be the Problem, Officer?
by lovejoyblissfic
Summary: A ficlet about Kurt Hummel and Adam Crawford, inspired by a certain young actor and his run in with the LAPD.
1. Chapter 1

It was a cold, grey December day, and Kurt and Adam had just arrived at the airport in Ohio from New York, and picked up their rental car. They were heading for Lima.

It was the first time his family would be meeting Adam and Kurt was a little nervous. He knew how overprotective Burt could be after everything Kurt had been through. Kurt was so lost in thought that he didn't notice how fast he was driving until he saw the flashing blue lights in his rear view mirror.

"Shit."

Kurt pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the officer to get out of his car and walk up to the window. Kurt rolled down his window and looked up at the broad-shouldered police officer.

"License and registration," said the big guy in a deep, gruff voice.

Kurt rummaged around in the glove box until he found the appropriate paperwork and handed it over to the man with his driver's license. Then came the long wait while the cop ran Kurt's information on his computer to see if Kurt had any other driving offenses.

"I think I've seen this porno," whispered Adam.

Kurt whipped his head around to glare at his boyfriend. "Shut up," he hissed.

"Sorry," said Adam, not looking sorry at all. "Just trying to lighten the mood."

"Well, it's not funny. We're late and my dad is going to worry. And you do not want to be around Burt when he's in his super-protective daddy bear mode."

"Speaking of bears," muttered Adam as the burly cop came back into view next to the window.

"Adam!" Kurt hissed angrily.

The man handed Kurt back his ID and his papers. "Do you mind telling me what you're doing in town, with an out of state license and a rental car?"

"Just going home to see my dad for Christmas," said Kurt, opening his big beautiful eyes a bit wider in an attempt to look as sweet and innocent as possible.

The man's chin dropped. "Well do you know why I pulled you over young man?"

"I was speeding?" asked Kurt, putting on an air of remorse.

"Yes, you were going 70 miles an hour in a 55 zone."

"I'm so sorry," said Kurt, affecting a serious and sad expression and hitting the officer with the full power of his baby blue eyes.

The cop cleared this throat. "I'm going to let you go with a warning, this time, but don't let it happen again," he said sternly.

Kurt shook his head vigorously. "I won't sir. Thank you."

"See that you don't," said the officer, handing Kurt the warning slip.

And then he winked at Kurt, and walked back to his car, and got in and drove away. Adam could barely hold in his mirth.

"Shut UP," said Kurt as Adam started to giggle.

"I think you'll have to come back to the station with me," said Adam in a deep, sexy voice.

"I said shut up!"

"Oh, but officer, why?" said Adam in a breathy, high-pitched imitation of Kurt's voice.

"I hate you."

"You have broken the law, young man."

"I really hate you."

"And I am going to have to punish you, you bad boy. Punish you hard."

"Adam!"

"With my long, hard gun…"

"Adam, stop it!"

"I just hope he doesn't shoot too soon," whispered Adam.

"Adam. William. Crawford!" shouted Kurt.

"Yes?" Adam smirked.

"Just for that I'm not having sex with you tonight."

Adam clamped his lips together but soon dissolved into laughter.

Kurt shook his head.

Just then Kurt's phone went off.

"Hi Dad!"

"We're in the car. We just pulled over. We're about 20 minutes away."

"No, nothing's wrong. See you soon. Love you too. Bye Dad."

The officer forgotten, Kurt put the car back into drive, checked the traffic behind him, and eased back onto the road again.

"Oh that reminds me," said Adam. "Is your friend David going to be in town for the holidays?"

"Who?" said Kurt, distracted by traffic and not really listening.

"You know, that big guy we ran into at the deli that one time. The one who plays hockey at NYU?"

"Oh David! Yeah, I think he's home this week. Why?"

"Well," said Adam, leaning closer and lowering his voice, "seeing the way you looked at that hot cop reminds me of how you looked at David, that time we ran into him."

"I did not!"

"And I know you have a thing for bears…"

"I do not!"

"Honestly, it's fine. I don't blame you. David was hot."

"You need to stop."

"And that copper looked like he wanted you to warm him up. It's cold today."

Kurt's mouth twitched at one corner.

"If you don't shut up right now I'm going to pull the car over and get out my handcuffs," said Kurt.

"That's really no incentive, sweetheart." Adam chuckled.

Kurt grinned. "Just one thing."

"And what's that, you handsome devil?"

"I'm not calling you daddy in my father's house."

"Understood," said Adam, his smile as wide as Kurt's, as the car passed the _Entering Lima_ sign.


	2. Chapter 2

_Hello friends! I'm working hard on the next chapter of After the Wedding. But in the meantime, my fingers slipped and this happened. Oops. This is my first time writing content like this and I would love your feedback. Please read the warnings._

* * *

Chapter 2: You have the Right to Remain Silent

**Warnings: handcuffs, barebacking, old people flirting. Roleplaying/jokes about dubcon and police officers.**

* * *

After introducing Adam to his family, Kurt and Adam put their luggage in Kurt's room in the basement, and then they went back upstairs to talk to Burt and Carole, who were heading out for the night.

"We ordered take out for you and it's in the fridge," said Carole. "There are all kinds of good things from China Palace. You just need to heat it up in the microwave."

"Oh, yum!" said Kurt. "Thank you."

"We'll be home tomorrow night to eat with you guys. Tonight we're going to the movies with some friends of mine from work, and then there's an office Christmas party after that," she continued.

"We'll be home late," said Burt.

"Have fun!" said Adam.

"Drive safe!" said Kurt.

"Alone at last," said Kurt after the door had shut behind them.

"Mmm," said Adam accepting the kiss Kurt was offering him. "Do you mind if I take a shower?"

"Go ahead. Come on, I'll show you where the towels are," said Kurt, leading the way back downstairs to the bathroom off of his room.

While Adam was in the shower, Kurt got an idea.

He searched his closet.

"Jackpot" he muttered, pulling his old Officer Krupke costume out of the right hand side of the closet.

Kurt quickly stripped out of his t-shirt and put on the dress shirt and tie, buttoning the jacket that still had the shiny badge pinned on it. He looked in his suitcase until he found lube, which he put in his left hand pocket, and handcuffs, which he attached to his belt.

He was adjusting the cap on his head when he heard the shower stop. He was out of time, and since the dress pants were too short anyway after all his growth spurts, he just kept on his skinny jeans and stood with his arms folded, leaning on the wall, pretending to be angry.

Adam came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped low around his slim hips. Drops of water trickled down his muscular pecs ,and his biceps flexed as he reached up to dry his blond hair with a second towel.

Adam's mouth fell open when he saw Kurt.

Kurt looked up and down Adam's bare, wet chest and arms appreciatively. His heart was pounding.

"Adam Crawford?" Kurt asked in a serious tone. "You are accused of mocking a police officer earlier today. And telling very bad jokes."

"I would never," said Adam with a grin.

Kurt stepped closer and pressed himself up against Adam.

"You have the right to remain silent."

"But what if I want to beg," Adam whispered.

Kurt smirked at him.

"Anything you say can and will be held against you," said Kurt, pressing his pelvis against Adam's and reaching around to grab his ass with both hands to pull the two of them even closer together.

"I'm going to need to see some ID," said Adam. "What if you're not really a police officer?"

"You have the right to an attorney," continued Kurt.

Adam reached his own hand into one of Kurt's back pockets and squeezed his ass. "Not in here," he said.

"How about here?" said Adam, reaching around to slip his hand into Kurt's right hand front pocket. "Now where is that ID?" Adam ran his fingertips along the side of Kurt's cock through the thin fabric.

Kurt gasped.

"You do realize that assaulting a police officer is a crime."

"Those tight skinny jeans should be a crime," muttered Adam, continuing to stroke Kurt's cock through his pocket, as it began to swell against his fingers.

"I have to do a full body search," said Kurt.

"Anything you say, Officer." Adam stroked Kurt's cock as he let his fingers slowly slide of out Kurt's pocket. He reached down to remove his towel and let it fall to the floor.

"We may have to add public indecency to the charges," said Kurt, looking down to check out his naked boyfriend's body.

"But we're in private," whispered Adam, leaning over to untie Kurt's necktie, his gaze burning into Kurt.

Kurt paused a moment to allow Adam to slowly untie his neck tie and slide it off of Kurt's neck.

He let Adam slowly unbutton the dress shirt and police uniform jacket. Adam slid a large, warm hand inside the shirt, stroking over Kurt's nipple with his thumb. Kurt took a sharp breath, while Adam stroked his hand upward under Kurt's shirt until he reached his throat.

Kurt shivered and closed his eyes for a moment, a broad smile spreading over his face.

And then he snapped back into character. "You realize you're only making this harder for yourself," said Kurt as sternly as he could.

"Oh, I do like making things harder," said Adam, reaching down to squeeze Kurt's hard cock through the denim.

"That's it. Turn around," Kurt ordered. He noticed Adam's sharp inhale at his bossy tone.

"Put your hands on the dresser and spread your legs," Kurt demanded.

Kurt reached into his pocket and pulled out the lube, which he opened and squeezed onto his fingers. Tossing the tube on the dresser, he looked at Adam's eyes in the mirror in front of him

Rubbing his fingers in circles on Adam's naked lower back, he waited.

"I'm ready, Officer," said Adam.

Kurt slid his fingers down the crack of Adam's ass.

"I'm going to have to do a full investigation, Mr. Crawford."

"Please be very thorough," said Adam in a breathy voice.

Kurt pushed one slim finger gently inside Adam.

"Hmmm. Nothing yet."

He added a second.

Adam gasped.

"Still nothing," said. "But sometimes these probes take a little time, don't you agree Mr. Crawford?"

He twisted and stretched his fingers until Adam was closing his eyes, lost in the sensations Kurt was giving him.

"I hope you understand, Adam. I have to explore this subject from every possible angle."

Adam cried out sharply as Kurt moved his fingers inside him, and Adam started to thrust back and forth against them.

"This investigation could stretch out for a long time," Kurt said as he continued to open Adam up and rub his fingers on the most sensitive spots inside of him.

Adam was sobbing from the pleasure by the time Kurt stopped and removed his fingers.

His hands still pressed against the dresser in front of him, Adam locked eyes with Kurt in the mirror.

Kurt reached for his belt buckle.

"Now bend over," he told Adam.

"Make me," said Adam, his eyes flashing with lust.

"If you insist," said Kurt, pulling the handcuffs off of his belt with a grin.

He dangled them from one finger.

"Is this okay?" Kurt whispered, breaking character for a moment.

"Brilliant," said Adam quietly, smiling at Kurt in the mirror. "Cuff me."

Kurt crossed Adam's wrists behind his back and snapped on the cuffs. He stepped back and unbuckled his pants, stepping out of his jeans and his briefs.

He kept on the top part of the police uniform, unbuttoned to show his pale, sculpted chest, and he kept on the hat. Looking at Adam's smouldering eyes im the mirror, Kurt squeezed more lube on his hand and began to stroke his own erection, keeping his eyes on Adam's the entire time.

Adam looked down to watch Kurt stroke himself with a hungry expression.

"I said bend over," said Kurt, slapping Adam on the ass with his other hand.

Adam bent over, and Kurt looked at Adam's long arms folded behind his back, the curves of his beautiful firm ass and the strong muscles on the back of his thighs.

Adam laid his forehead on the dresser in front of him and waited.

"How do you plead?" Kurt growled.

"You want me to plead? I plead with you to fuck me right now," begged Adam.

"Do you understand your rights, Adam?" Kurt asked as he began to slide the tip of his cock up and down against Adam's entrance. "Do you want to exercise your right to have my cock in your ass?"

"Yes," Adam sobbed, pressing back, and Kurt pushed inside him, moaning brokenly as he was enveloped by the hot press of Adam around his cock.

Kurt paused.

"Go ahead," said Adam.

Kurt began to pump his hips back and forth.

"So good," murmured Kurt.

"Are you going to…ohhhh!…write that in your police report, Officer?"

"Oh yes. I'll tell them you were a very cooperative subject," agreed Kurt as he grabbed Adam hard by his hips with both hands and kept fucking him, thrusting in and out, in and out in a slow, wet, hot slide.

Over and over.

And over.

"Faster," Adam begged.

Kurt sped up his thrusts. "Look at me," Kurt demanded.

Sweaty and gorgeous, Adam lifted his forehead off of the dresser, and looked at Kurt in the mirror, with a gaze so adoring and so grateful it took Kurt's breath away.

Kurt could feel the ache building in his balls and knew he was about to tip over the edge.

He reached around Adam with one hand, and ran a finger along the hard, velvety skin of Adam's erection.

"There's just one more thing I need to investigate."

Adam gasped as Kurt wrapped his hand around Adam's cock and began to squeeze, sliding up and down.

Up and down.

Faster.

Harder.

"Come for me," Kurt said, his eyes fixed on Adam's in the mirror.

Beads of sweat running down his chest, Adam fucked into Kurt's fist a few more times, closed his eyes, his mouth falling open in pleasure, and stilled, letting out a long moan as he spilled over Kurt's fingers.

Kurt's police hat fell to the floor as he leaned his head back, and Kurt's eyes rolled back, as he continued to thrust in and out of his boyfriend.

"Yes, yes, yes!" Kurt cried out as his orgasm tore through him and he spilled inside Adam.

They stood together, panting, shaking as they came down.

Kurt pulled out and quickly grabbed the handcuff key and unlocked Adam, who shook his arms to get their circulation back. Kurt gently led him over to the bed and then slipped off the rest of his uniform before joining Adam.

They curled up together, Adam on his back, Kurt resting his head on Adm's chest, lifting one of Adam's sore wrists to rub it and lay kisses on it, then turning to lavish attention on the other wrist.

"Are you okay?" asked Kurt eventually, after several minutes of snuggling, his smile so wide his face hurt.

"Fantastic," said Adam. "I love you so much, Kurt."

"I love you too, Adam," said Kurt quietly, dropping another kiss on Adam's left wrist.

"And I hope you've learned your lesson," Kurt said. "Are you going to be more respectful of the police from now on?"

Adam looked down at Kurt and cupped his face in his hands.

"Fuck the police," he said with a huge, cocky smile.

"That can be arranged," said Kurt, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "Maybe in the shower this time. But you're going to have to catch me first!"

Kurt stood up and started to slowly walk toward the bathroom, and as soon as Adam stood up he ran.

He let Adam chase him around the bedroom and into his bathroom, and Kurt shrieked as Adam caught him around the waist in his strong arms, and claimed his mouth with a wet, delicious kiss, before Adam pulled Kurt into the shower with him.

* * *

Burt and Carole, having forgotten their discount coupons for the movie theater, unlocked the kitchen door and stepped into the house.

"Here they are!" said Carole, picking the coupons up off the kitchen counter.

Hearing a shriek of laughter from downstairs, Burt shook his head.

"Come on," said Carole. "You didn't really think he was going to wait until he was thirty did you?"

"I can't hear you," said Burt. "Come on, the movie is starting soon. Maybe if I'm lucky, Robert Downey Junior will get you all hot and bothered and we can make out in the back row."

"Mmmm. Or Scarlett," said Carole.

"What?!" said Burt.

"Don't assume," said Carole.

"Wouldn't dream of it," said Burt, giving her a kiss. "Come on honey, we don't want to be late."

* * *

"Did you hear something?" mumbled Kurt, on his knees under the hot spray of the shower.

"Don't talk with your mouth full, darling."

* * *

_And the next day they run into Bear Cub at the Lima Bean and he tells them he had just been tailgated by a cop and when he tells them all about "the cop who rode my ass for miles" Kurt and Adam burst into giggles and Dave smirks and tells them they're both perverted and just when Dave says "perverted" Sebastian walks in and they start giggling all over again. The End._


End file.
